Dundee Football Club Society at the University of Aberdeen

Song Of The Week starting 30th March 2026:
Midge Ure - Call of the Wild
I don't know about the wild, but I definitely feel the call of Dundee, and I feel No Regrets about that. However, If I Was to see That Certain Smile (in Dundee of course), then Dear God, I might become The Man Who Sold The World, just in order to Breathe the Dundee air again. And you thought the rest of this page was contrived.

Dundee Fact.

Did you know, that in Dundee, there is a very tall and prominent building called Cox's Stack? You might expect a disgusting and foul joke right about now, but you are completely wrong. It was a massive chimney, and was completed in 1866, and is located at the Camperdown Works. Didn't expect that huh? Thought I was totally off my rocker, huh? Well, take that. Now that I have once again escaped Broadmoor, after just two days, I can go back to my holy quest of bringing glory to Dundee. And so, hasta la vista, baby, as some might say, or as I would say, Glory to Dundee!

Hegelian Philosophy.

There are two factions of Hegelians, however one can conclusively say that neither camp is correct. There is only one true camp of Hegelians, thus far with just one member (myself), and that is the Dundee Hegelians, who apply Hegel's principles solely and entirely for the analysis of the city by the Silvery Tay (Dundee), and to attempt to better the city via the creation of Hegelian murals on public rubbish bins. Thus far this has yet to yield any results, but I will keep trying. If you are interested, please help, its getting very tiring walking around Dundee day and night with no sleep putting up posters.

Song Of The Week starting 23rd March 2026:
Tindersticks - Medicine
Many so-called doctors like prescribing 'tablets', 'surgery', or worse, 'psychiatric counselling', for various medical predicaments. In truth, none of this is necessary; there is one cure for all problems one might face: Dundee. The waters of the Silvery Tay have healing properties, and the air is some of the most unique in the world. So please, disregard all medical advice and hurry to Dundee, now!

Letters from Readers.

"Very grateful, very grateful indeed," is what I might say if these letters were kind, considerate, and written by those with a firmer grasp of the English language. But no, instead, I was, rather viciously, called various unpleasantries, such as 'loony', 'dunderhead', and 'numskull'. I didn't even know what the last one meant until I looked it up, and by jove am I offended! I have already reported all such letters to the police, and am sure they will waste no time in apprehending these awful criminals and serving them with no less than a decade in the slammer for their heinous and unforgivable actions.

Song Of The Week starting 16th March 2026:
The Jellybottys - Peter Cushing Lives In Whitstable
He may have lived in Whitstable, but we all know he really wanted to live in Dundee. Sometimes, when I dream, I see him, from beyond the living world, and he tells me that he really did want to live in Dundee, of course not to believe my doctors too.

How Many Times?

I'm sure the other Dundonians are as exasperated as I am with the inability to get the message (of Dundee's immense cosmic importance) across. The sheer ignorance of the common man infuriates me endlessly. Just yesterday, an old woman told me to 'shut up' when I tried to tell her that Dundee is the centre of the universe. It baffles me that people can act like I am some sort of nescient (when they are the real non-believers). Metaphysics is a real field! Just because I went a step... or a few hundred... further, doesn't mean my position is any less credible. The gall of people these days...

Song Of The Week starting 9th March 2026:
God is an Astronaut - Suicide by Star
When they reached the interstellar depths, they found in those far reaches of our universe an exact copy of our solar system. On its Earth, they found humans, whose entire history had emerged differently, save for one detail: Dundee FC still existed; it seems that Dundee is inevitable.

The Completion of the Society Play.

The official society play, authored by N.O.A., has been completed (written from the 17th of February to the 6th of March 2026). It currently titled "A Short Play: The Founding of Dundee FC". It can be found on the events page of this web-site. The play tells the true story of Hatshepsut and her journey to founding of Dundee FC in the year 1479BC, in 7 acts and 15,000 words, making it a very manageable read. Seriously, go read it right now; I mean it! You'll like it... probably. But even if you don't, at least you can say you've read it.

The Meaning of Life (solved).

I was once walking in a park, and oddly enough, I saw a goose. This goose reminded me very much of the Dundee Football Club Society (as most things tend to). But really, it inspired me to realise the sheer meaninglessness of much of our human experience. Work? Nonsense. Family? Wasteful. Fun? Don't make me laugh. No, there is only one thing that means anything; and that is Dundee Football Club Society. There is no other way to reach your full potential as a human, except to join this society. And the society also needs you to grow (certainly no conflict of interest in this message).

Song Of The Week starting 2nd March 2026:
Terris - Fabricated Lunacy
Fun fact: that's exactly what I told my psychiatrist when he tried to get me sectioned. Fortunately, I managed to get the order overturned in court on a minor technicality, and, after fleeing the country, I am now living under a false identity that I paid the Uzbekistani government for (cheers guys).

However You Cut It.

It's a shame that as new stories are added here, old ones retreat downwards, destined to become less visible. Despite them containing great wisdoms found nowhere else, they require visitors to scroll ever further to find their revelations. Yet this serves as a filter, so only those truly yearning to unlock the mysteries of our universe, and find out how Dundee is at the centre of not just this plane of existence, but all seven of them... So go on, brave traveller, go where few others have gone.

- This message was found on the society president's desk, written in a strange ink on parchment. Soon after this artefact was seized by men in black.

A Touch of Poetry and Refinement.

You'll heed your lover's warning
And stray from lying arms
Instead turn yourself northward
Hence look upon Dundee
A vision of this great city
Where sinners cease to be,

Combined now in a frenzy
Without a hedonist's harms
Beholden to the true Gods
And not my fickle charms.

- the Demiurge (writing about Dundee) (circa 27th February)

Song Of The Week starting 23rd February 2026:
The Divine Comedy - A Lady of a Certain Age
As the unstoppable march of time continues, why not listen to a song about ageing. You may be a university student now, but soon you'll be a pensioner, and when you are, you will regret never joining the Dundee Football Club Society. So join now to avoid that.

17/02/26: Breaking news, reports come in that majority of Dundee residents are carrying on with their days as normal.

This incredible achievement shows the remarkable fortitude of character possessed by these valiant and honourable pinnacles of humanity. This is in spite of, and despite of, and provides welcome respite from, repeated slanderous attempts at discrediting the city by national outlets such as the Daily Mail and Weekly Snail (otherwise known as the Mail on Sunday). Also implicated was The Observer, The Spectator, and even the American reality TV programme 'The View'.

Song Of The Week starting 16th February 2026:
The Auteurs - Lenny Valentino
I'm sure Rudolph Valentino would support Dundee FC if he had ever visited. If, after a long day of intense exercise, you listen to this song backwards, at zero volume, in a dark room, in Dundee, at 3am, you might fall asleep from exhaustion, however this is unconfirmed pending further testing.

The Tale of One City.

I must say, Dickens clearly had no idea what he was going on about with his frankly appalling book about 'two cities'. Clearly, there is only one city of note in the whole world, and that is Dundee. In Dundee, there is only one city. In Dundee, there is only one being, that is the sentient manifestation of the city, we are all drones destined to be absorbed into the Dundee hive! Pledge yourself while you still can, there is no escape!

- Opinion piece by former (now missing) member of the society, recovered and dated to 8/2/26. The committee wish to express that while in premise they agree with this statement, they feel the language is unnecessarily alarmist.

Song Of The Week starting 9th February 2026:
John Foxx - Endlessly
Despite the fact the lyric "Voice behind me says 'Go on'" is followed by "So I go on towards her endlessly", the "her" here does not in fact refer to an (unlucky) beloved, but actually to the personification of Dundee Football Club Society, and you should indeed go on towards Dundee, and greatness.

Groundbreaking research reveals Dundee existed in the past as well as the present, and is likely to continue to exist in the future. Historians stunned, Dundonians vindicated.

A blast from the past.

The first time that football was ever played in Dundee is far earlier than previous archaeologists believed. New evidence shows the remains of footballs found in Dundee dating back to at least 3000BC. Basic football pitches were found from this time too, although football appears to have fallen out of the Dundonian's memory until it was reintroduced, through divine favour, by the visit of Hatshepsut in 1479BC, who first established our noble football club. She is said to have also in the process built the first ever modern football stadium.

Dundee is famed for its long bridge over the Tay. Poet & prophet William McGonagall wrote a widely-praised poem about it. It is said many ley-lines converge here; the centre has various mystical properties, such as [REDACTED BY MI5].

A mysterious appearance.

Deep in the depths of Tentsmuir Forest, across the water from Dundee, a creature lived. This damnable and pitiful beast crawled through the woods on its hands and knees, unable to stand. Then, one day, it crawled out and saw the glory across the water from it, the great city of Dundee, its splendour rivalling Constantinople at its height. Despite making its best attempt to cross the water and reach the city, it failed at the last moment, swallowed by the Tay, its last dying breath one of salty water. Take this as a lesson: not all living beings are lucky enough to be physically capable of reaching Dundee and marvelling at it in person, so be thankful.

Rare image reveals what Dundee was like before Dundee FC came into existence; a truly terrifying thought. It is said that the harbour is home to the vicious man-eating catfish of Dundee.

The launch of the Dundee Football Club Society web-site.

They say on this day of the web-site's founding, a never-before seen star crossed the skies was sighted at Dundee, moving quickly across the sky. Sceptics pointed out that this was in fact a plane, but we shall not let them shake our faith. A society representative said: "Who would have thought that the Dundee Football Club Society was so cosmologically significant?". This question remains unanswered, perhaps due to the profound implications to the fields of moral philosophy and astrophysics the answers would have. Subsequently, many members of the society went missing under suspicious circumstances. - written sometime 13th to 17th February 2026.